Dipper goes to Taco Bell
Dipper goes to Taco Bell is a YTP by Jallerbo. Transcript (Dane Cook goes wild and performs a magic act) Cook: I turn to the guy, and I say PWUH! Fuck your elf. Fuck! (Mabel and Dipper are watching him on TV.) Mabel: That dick is a genius. Dipper: Eh. (Previously on Gravity Falls Z...) Gideon: I need to take hormones. (Six months later...) Gideon: I AM A GIRL! Jeff: The most beautiful GIRL we've ever seen! I'll catch ya! Stan: Uh, ya might wanna take a little shit there! Gideon: Suck a L-L?! (The contract reads "SUCK A COCK LITTLE MAN! Satan Penis". Stan laughs) Gideon: SuS?! (The contract now reads "SuS". Stan laughs like Mario) Gideon: Stanford, will you do me? Stan: My one and only dream, which was to possess kids, has cum- (Somebody cums on him) Dipper: I'm gonna get Wendys! Mabel: I'm gonna buy a fucking whore! (She punches Dipper. He moans) Gideon: (Reads contract) Dear pesky- (He rips it apart and yells strangely at Dipper and Mabel. They go cross-eyed and say "Uhhh...") I'll catch ya! (A TV falls and crushes him) Luigi: Lotsa- Beavis and Butthead character: Lasagna! Mabel: There's a talking horse in there! Dipper: What?! Talking Horse: Hello. I am a talking- Mabel: Fucking n*gger! Mabel: Black guys have fat d*cks! I'm hard. Dipper: Mabel, I have Fable! Mabel: What?! Dipper: Mabel, I have very keen powers of forthversation. For example, just by smelling your breath, I can tell that you have been eating... (He sniffs the air) Plums? (Cut to Michael Rosen) Micheal Rosen: (In Mabel's voice) What?! Soos: There you dudes are! I've been trying to get your attention! (Mabel squishes him with her foot: He grunts) Mabel: Die! Die! (A possum sticks his head out of the hood of a car and roars like a T-rex) Dipper: Let me get this straight. You're a boy? Mabel: What can I say? This girl's got a cock! (Dipper screams.) Dipper: Mabel, listen! I've been trying to tell you that Norman is not normal! (He shows her a picture of a furry) Mabel: Whoa! Shut up! (She punches Dipper, sending him flying away. The doorbell rings) Mabel: C*mming! (She falls out of existence. Dipper starts humping the chair) (Stan opens the door and sees Gideon) Gideon: Listen closely. I want you inside me! Stan: Over there! (Points) Gideon: Huh? (Stan slaps the jar to the ground. It explodes) Jeff: I'm Steven. (Mabel screams. The words "Steven Universe" appear) Girl: Can you help me? I'm looking for erections. (Soos goes wild and attacks her: the words "To be continued" appear) Stan: Ugh. I am fat. (Mabel runs away screaming) Stan: Wanna fuck? Dipper: Yeah, okay. Stan: Wendy! I need you to put up this sus! Wendy: (Grunts) Shit. Stan: Wendy! I need you to show us your ass! (She shows them it) Mabel: Damn! (Stan drops his pants) Stan: Alright, kids, here's how it's gonna go down. Whoever sucks up the hardest gets the key to the penis! (Everybody screams) Random Guy 1: You- Random Girl: Have- Random Girl 2: To shit. Random Girl 3: Whore. Randon Guy 2: Whore. Random Girl 4: Whore. Random Girl 5: Whore. The King: Whore. (Spongebob shoots Random Guy 1 in the head.) Random Guy: Ow. Random Guy: You're not important. Random Guy 3: Stir. Random Guy 4: Stir. Random Guy 5: Stir. Robert Downey Jr: And the only way we can prove that to you is by having lots of pots. Random Guy 6: Lots of pots. Random Girl 6: Lots of pots. Random Girl 2: Just a shit ton of pots. Downey: Lots of- Eminem: Spaghetti. Downey: One of the most important dicks. Random Girl: The most important dicks. Mark: You're not important. Tell the world that you're not important. (Random Guy 6 gives you a strange look. So does Neil Patrick Harris. Random Girl shakes her head and gives you a thumbs down. She holds up a sign with a rocket ship drawn on it. Written next to the rocket are the words "You're Fired!") Random Guy 7: This isn't just an election. It's a tit. Random Girl: If you don't know how or where to register,- Random Guy 8: Go to- Mark: Hell. Random Guy 9: A racist, abusive cow that could permanently damage the fabric. (A cow with a sign on it that reads "Die n*ggers" shoots eye lasers, destroying a pair of pants.) Mark: Mark- Random Guy 9: Mark- Random Guy 6: Mark- Random Girl 2: Mark- Voice: Mark- Random Guy 10: Mark- Johnny: Mark- Random Guy 8: Go to heaven. Hub: And now, back to our- Cook: PWUH! I'm standing next to Hitler. I've never fucked this man before. I looked at him and I went, uh... "Suck my fucking big cock!" (The crowd goes wild) Cook: Yeah. In-COCK-nito! He turns towards me, and he sneezes like this, he goes pwuh- Mabel: Aw! You sneeze like a kitten. Cook: Fuck you, bitch. (Mabel screams: Cook kills her) (The doorbell rings.) Voice 2: Ding dong! (Stan answers it.) Walter White: Pizza. Stan: Woo! (He slams the door in Walter's face) (Sad music starts playing as Walter starts crying.) Walter's Wife: I'm making dinner. I'm making dinner. Dinner. (Walter screams with angst.) Stan: Heh heh heh heh! Stupid dick! Welp, I'm gonna use the duck. You need anything? (Mario is looming over Wax Stan.) Stan: Heh heh! I love this erection! Mabel: Comedy gold! That dick is amazing! Dipper: Eh. Mabel: Are you saying you could outfuck Grunkle Stan? Dipper: No? Grunkle Stan: NOOOOOOOO! Dr. Robotnik: NO! Darth Vader: Noooooooo! Michael Rosen: No! Spike: NOOOOOOOO! Anime Guy: Noooooooo! Mario: No. Michael: Whoa! Coworker: I wanna fuck you up the ass. Michael! NOOOOOOOO! Dipper: Nope. Mabel: Nope. M. Bison: YES! Stan: NOOOOOOOO! (He dashes back into the living room and grabs Dipper by the crotch. Dipper moans) Unnamed Lawyer: Stan- (Stan throws Dipper at him. Dipper rolls down a hill and moans. Mabel laughs. Dipper finds a Taco Bell) Dipper: It's amazing! Morshu: Lamp oil. Rope oil. Bomb oil. Dipper: How about... A taco? Morshu: Mmm... Nope! (He punches Dipper away. Charmander is hit by Thomas the Tank Engine. Squirtle starts humping Charmander. Squirtle screams like the King. Squirtle and Charmander gaze into each other's eyes as if falling in love: Then Squirtle bites Charmander, making him scream in agony. Red blushes.) Squirtle: Mona! (Squirtle screams. Charmander screams like Howie. Walter White screams) Red: You have disgraced me! (He shoots Charmander with a laser, causing him to explode and faint.) Charmander: (Stutters) That's all, folks! (The words "Pokey Toons: That's all, Fucks!" appears. Charmander screams like Nigra. Cut to a montage of Dipper being depressed.) Cook: Hey, you want a taco? Dipper: (Like M. Bison) YES! Cook: Too bad! (He flings it away and starts spitting out tacos) Mabel: Comedy gold! Comedy gold! Comedy gold! (Stan laughs like Mario.) Mabel: Comedy gold! Comedy gold! Comedy gold! Gold! Comedy gold! (Dipper hangs himself. The credits roll.) Mabel: Damn!